The Weekly Funny: Introduction to swearing in Chinese

Welcome back everyone, now since we are all adults, we know that sometimes during our lives, you just have a bad day. A day when everything that can goes wrong, does. When these grey clouds blow from the horizon and cover our sunny skies, just how do get back our precious good mood? Some people take the high road and try to ignore it, but most people, as I learnt overtime, usually choose to express themselves through the use of some sort of illicit language or witty come back. Let’s take a look at some of the cleaner ways of getting your point across in Chinese.

1: Damn it!- 妈的,天啦噜,天哪

Ma de, Tian la lu, Tian na:

Damn it, is the basic go to word when you find yourself in a pickle. The youngest to the oldest all enjoy the wonderful ease which comes from shouting a sharp, Damn it when something seriously ruins your good mood.

2: F&^# your sister: 去你妹的,操你妹

Qu ni Mei de, Cao ni Mei:

“F&^% your sister,” is an interesting adaptation of the Chinese language in order to both insult someone while maintaining that ever elusive moral exclusivity. While the English counterpart being the rather crude, “*F^& your mother,” or “mother**f^#,”  that just wouldn’t go for a culture which holds so closely to the teachings of Confucius, who emphasised showing respect and deference to your elders, especially your parents. Thus, a beautiful compromise was made and that is how “*&^% your sister,” came into existence. The reason being, one only has one mother and it is paramount that you respect her while and more importantly, for the past 20-30 years, most Chinese  families have only had only child ( Thanks single child policy) so the odds of anyone after 1985 having a sister are highly slim. Therefore, even as you’re telling someone off, there’s still that modicum of mutual respect, but they are still some people who drop the mother card when particularly incensed, Oh no you did not!

3: Unbelievable:万万没想到, 我勒个深深的去

Wan wan mei xiang dao, Wo le ge shen shen de qu

Something which you’ve never imagined possible has just occurred, and no, it’s not the first flying car or a new IPhone 11+. No, this impossible phenomenon is just the result of a cocktail of ignorance and laziness. However, you don’t feel like getting on badly, so how do you deal with this? Drop the “U,” bomb and walk away. One ,well placed “ Unbelievable,” followed by a tsk tsk tsk and walking away, is guaranteed to leave your offenders speechless and gaping like fish. How? You ask. Don’t be deceived, if any foreigner can use such authentic, simple slang, most Chinese people would be extremely impressed. Now,imagine if you used it perfectly when your offender is on the verge of arguing. Boom! That’s a deal breaker, and you leave him are her unsure of whether they should be impressed or offended. Either way, it works out for you and that’s what really matters in such situations anyway,

4: Get away, F&^% off: 走开, 滚开

Zou kai, Gun kai

When someone is annoying you, but you don’t want to give up your hard won personal space, then  what should we do? The answer is clear. Plant your feet firmly, look that person square in the eyes, and say, go away, or the strong “F,” off. It’s your choice really, but bear in mind, that these words are provocative, and may just result in a longer, time wasting argument, where there’s no guarantee that you’ll come out on top.

5: Idiot, Fool, Buffon, Uncultured 傻逼, 没文化真可怕( Having no culture is a scary, pitiable thing)

Sha bi, Mei wen hua zhen ke pa,

That person is everything you find annoying and they have the gall to walk around on two feet trying to talk to you. How do you cut that conversation short saving yourself a few extra minutes of time NOT wasted?You Idiot! Yep, one well placed “Idiot” usually does the job, especially if it is followed by shut up or *&^% off (see below)

傻逼, 闭嘴=======Sha bi, bi zui!======== Idiot, Shut up!

傻逼, 滚开=======Sha bi, gun kai! =======Idiot, *&^% off!

However, if you are doing silly things with your friends, or just having innocent fun, then Sha bi is not appropriate since it is an insult. In this situation it is best to say Er bi(二逼.)

咱们真是两个二逼======Zan men zhen shi liang ge er bi!=========We are two idiots! Ha Ha

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